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Savile row spells doom for gravestone

[15 October 2012] The plans of a group of Scarborough business people to turn parts of the Yorkshire seaside town into a Jimmy Savile heritage trail – highlight: a visit to his £4,000 granite gravestone in Woodlands cemetery – seem to have suffered a slight setback as Scotland Yard have declared the late TV presenter a ‘predatory sex offender’ with a history of at least 40 years of groping, assaulting and raping children.

The immense black stone, unveiled with great ceremony only a few weeks ago, was also set to become a pilgrimage destination for proofreaders, as it described Savile as ‘Chieftan of Lochaber Highland Games’.

This was one problem the ‘Jim’ll Fix It’ host was clearly in no position to put right for himself, so the undertaker undertook to rectify it at his own expense, telling the Sun: ‘I can’t stand mistakes. It will be put right whatever it takes.’

It’s an ill wind, though. All the accusations of paedophilia have meant that instead of having to do a costly bodge, the funeral director simply turned up at the cemetery in the dead of night with a police escort, and sledge-hammered the tombstone into chunks of landfill at the request of Savile’s family.

Under the triple cloak of religion, charity and celebrity, and with dextrous use of Britain’s intimidating libel laws, Savile kept investigators at bay throughout his career. Now he’s dead, it’s open season on the blighter. The BBC and numerous hospitals are all likely to fork out millions in compensation to the people Savile assaulted on their premises. Taxpayers, get your cheque-books out, this could be a big one.

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