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Decoding cryptic bank-speak

[14 Jan 2014] James Blower, savings director of Shawbrook Bank, has written to his customers thus:

I am writing to advise that, sadly, we are suspending the process for existing customers to register for eSavings. Existing customers who have already registered with the Savings team for eSavings will still have their request processed and the system will continue to be available to those customers already registered and for new applications.

We have experienced exceptional demand and our desire to offer high levels of service has led us to take this action. We will also take on-board your feedback to see if we can offer a more straightforward process when we relaunch.

Shawbrook present themselves as ‘specialists in good sense’, and the surface message seems clear enough: ‘You can’t register for eSavings any more.' But what is the real message? Could it be: ‘Calamity. We were flooded with new applications from customers, our site was far too difficult to use, and people were making our life hell by phoning to complain.’

One of the perils of using bank-speak is that it invites customers to decode it any way they please. [MC]

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