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News & views

No business writing when business writing is so bad

[14 Jan 2014] Businesses often shoot themselves in the foot when it comes to writing decent English in their letters and emails. Here’s how Chocland, a (pseudonymous) British chocolate company, responded to a customer who’d complained its carrier bags were made of paper that became so rain-soaked on her way home that all the chocolate bars fell out and were lost.

Thank you for taking the time to email us regarding your disappointment in our carrier bags, I am really sorry to take a little while to reply to you, as you can imagine it is rather busy here at Chocolate HQ during the Christmas period.

The reason we use paper bags, as apposed to plastic, is to coincide with our company ethos in that we use enviromentally packaging as much as we can, we appreciate during bad weather conditions this can occassion create issue, and I am only sorry that this has been the case for you on this occasion.

With regards to how the store dealt with your situation, we hope you appreciate that it is a difficult situation for them to be able to replace a product under these circumstances.

I do hope my email goes in some way to regain your confidence and custom in Chocland.

So many errors, so short a letter. For example: the first ‘sentence’ needs two more full stops; there are three spelling mistakes in the second paragraph, which also needs more full stops; ‘create issue’ is not English; ‘goes in some way’ is not English; and ‘my regain your custom in Chocland’ is not a feasible statement.

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