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Activia jargon gives Danone corporate constipation

[22 Feb 2015] No-one can escape the adverts for Activia, a kind of yoghurt slurp interminably plugged by Danone, the US-based megacorp that claims it’s ‘the only probiotic yogurt product made with our exclusive probiotic culture, bifidus regularis’. (As it would be, being so exclusive an’ all.)

If you have a distaste for corporate jargon, though, the adverts are a feast too far. Activia, they say, causes: 

  • ‘acceleration of intestinal tract transit’.

This is presumably A Good Thing, but what are people meant to understand by it? That all those wonderful bifidus bacteria will keep them oh-so regularis?

We asked Danone’s representatives on Earth, the global PR firm Burson-Marsteller, to get to the bottom of it for us. But in a bad attack of corporate constipation, all they could produce was along the lines of:

  • ‘we’ve asked Danone and we’ll let you know’.

The rest, so far, has been silence.

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