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Race to the bottom wipes out euphemisms

[12 Mar 2015] Kimberley-Clark Ltd, which holds a royal warrant to supply the Queen with disposable tissues, has begun to write very clearly indeed about its toilet paper. Out go euphemisms, and in come bold statements about how the nation should wipe itself clean after visiting the thunderbox. Its packaging for Andrex has this to say:

‘Andrex has been expertly cleaning Britain’s bottoms for 72 years, so rather than avoiding the subject we’re starting the discussion. We’re going to talk about clean bottoms more openly and how our products help you feel clean and confident.’

Perhaps Andrex will sign up Lord Grade to front its openness campaign. The former BBC chairman recently described the typical non-executive company director as ‘a bit like the bidet in your bathroom: nobody is quite sure what they are for, but they add a touch of class’.

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